I don’t even know where to begin. Girl wanted to stop talking because I said love you too soon despite hanging out many times; mainly said it because she had distance issues, and I even brought her favorite wine and candles over. Another who wants to make zero attempt at making it work or pulling her weight; I drove over an hour and a half for her and paid for a hotel. I met another for coffee and worked out at the gym and she all of the sudden wants to be just friends. People wonder why I talk to as many girls as possible… that’s why, because they don’t care at any point in time to throw you away. There’s a saying that girls feel guys use them and throw them away… sometimes they let themselves be thrown away. I have to put up with their deranged, mentally unstable, selfish bullshit. And women are supposed to be the caring ones. Please. The lengths I have to go and make myself vulnerable just for a chance at some intimacy. The lengths I have to mold myself to fit their fucking mold because they won’t do it back. I’m not even asking for forever. Just asking for a short time.

I am glad I’ll be meeting an attractive cougar/milf this weekend at a hotel. Maybe girls my age are too immature. Probably. Can’t even agree to anything. It’s great to live in a world where nobody can get along, where everything is broken and you just have to deal with it. Show whatever image you want to show society to hide all the bullshit underneath.

I wish I didn’t have to need another human being. It sucks having to be dependent on… them. When I’m not like them at all.

They’re a reflection of something else. I’m a reflection of something else. There’s fewer like me.

I’m just so mad and hurt and frustrated and angry and pissed off. It feels good to let every ounce of kindness drain from me for a change. It feels good to think every bad thing of them under the sun for a change and not care if it’s right or wrong.


I’m tired of people.