life

Truth

It’s one of those times you have to write — I have to write — because the emotions are overwhelming, and there is no choice. So many thoughts and emotions, where to start, and where to end? How does one even begin to untangle years and years of thoughts and — after I had wrote that, my computer froze. It rarely freezes. Unbelievable. Then I had to wait ten minutes to get back here to write more because I don’t…

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A Reflection on One’s Past Hard Work & Passion

Reflecting on life — I need to write another blogpost for therapy purposes; I need to tell of my ambitions, my hopes, my dreams, my desires, those old, present, and new. Like a lot of writers, I wrote a lot. It started in high school, hundreds of thousands of words on manuscripts, meant only for my eyes. I tried to get published, and I did receive some encouraging rejection letters from literary agents. When I wrote another book during my…

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Life Feels A Bit Empty (Love Sucks) | Feeling The Past and Letting It Go, and Now It Doesn’t

I just recently changed the theme from the website from New Gamer to Ascendant, and the website looks much nicer and cleaner. I used to really enjoy blogging, but right now, I feel like so many things are pointless. Recently, life has just felt… empty. Silent. Disconnected. Just there. I used to enjoy sharing my feelings. Now, I’m afraid that one blog post or one thing I do will define who I am. I’ve missed writing. Perhaps that is one…

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Sharing a Weird Dream

I had a weird dream. I was with a girlfriend or ex. It was nighttime and late. I had previously starred in a major motion picture romance movie as one of the major characters, and I was apparently unaware of how it affected my life and its importance. I was a celebrity, or close to it or was one before. Plenty of people knew who I was. I know all this because I said to my gf/ex, “I didn’t know…

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Life’s Infinite Loop: Life Can Be Exhausting, Especially When Stuck in an Infinite Loop; Wait Till It Ends?

Right now, it’s 3:14 A.M. I’m pretty exhausted from the work week and from doing graduate school work. I also still try to do hobbies. I guess I at least have a good reason to be tired and exhausted from having such a jam packed schedule. I wanted to start a website for my pillow idea, but I feel that I don’t have the time, especially the money even, because the utility bill is due and then so is rent…

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Sleeping and Resting Versus. Being Awake and Producing

Tonight, I fight the desire to stay awake and work on a few things. I thought of things for my self-help book and had to write them down. That tendency happened often when I was a hardcore writer way back. I don’t write as often creatively anymore, but I do plan on getting back to it. The desire to write won out, even though I was lying in bed and had chewed a melatonin Olly gummy. Being excited about ideas…

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I Moved Into an Apartment! | First Move | Part 1

When it came time to finally move, I was very nervous and scared. But everything has turned out okay. I had a great deal of help from family, be it them lending their services, vehicle, or giving away things we needed for our first move. It was really incredible and awesome how much help we received. If it weren’t for all that help, it would have been a bad move. Here is the post that I wrote on Facebook after…

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The Long Journey and The Result; Life Narratives

So I’m at a point in my life where I feel like the work I put in throughout my long journey hasn’t resulted what I wanted. There was the theory that hard work will get me what I want: There is the Life Narrative that if you go to college, study hard, get a degree, then get a job, you’ll be successful and turn out okay. I did that, and it didn’t get me the result I wanted. When I…

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Hope through the Chaos: Fun and Licensing

Today was a weird day. It was one of those blah days. My half-brother was over and I was being irritated by him. I bought a game called Fallout4, to occupy him and keep him busy, and make our time together more fun, and turns out it is an extremely fun game. I went to visit my girlfriend who was babysitting four kids–they were loud and noisy. Being an introvert, this noise was too much, and I had to leave.…

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The Illusion of the Meaning of Life

So, lately I’ve been contemplating my existence. Probably because my mind is thinking about things in the bigger picture. And I was thinking about the meaning of life, and how, partly, at the very least, that it’s an illusion. In the grand scheme of things, humans place a certain amount of value in things differently. Someone could love watching sports and someone could hate it. One placed value on it and one placed no value on it. If we go…

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